Happiness Formula

The so-called happiness is actually the relief of pain. We experience this kind of relief from morning to night in daily life, because from the moment we are born, there are many forms of suffering that need to be eased. Once we are born, we feel hungry, cold, hot, and sleepy. These are the most basic examples. As girls grow up, they may enjoy shopping for clothes. When they see a beautiful dress that they can afford, they may immediately buy it. After putting it on, they feel pretty and happy. This so-called happiness happens because a change has taken place in the mind. The suffering of not getting what one wants has been relieved. What is the suffering of not getting what one wants? It means that you strongly desire something, but you cannot obtain it. This creates suffering. Returning to the example above, if you had no desire for that dress, you would not feel happy when wearing it. So this happiness comes from the satisfaction and relief of desire. Wearing the dress satisfies a sense of vanity, and that brings a temporary feeling of happiness. If we carefully observe ourselves, we actually have many needs and desires throughout the day. Many of them are hidden deep within the mind, and we may not even notice them. When they are not satisfied, we simply endure them. Suppose today you are in a good mood and have no particular worries. You lie down, and a skilled massage therapist gives you a back massage. You feel very comfortable. Why is that? Before the massage, you may not have felt that you were suffering. You may have felt energetic and in a good mood, with no obvious physical pain. But in fact, your body may still be carrying discomfort. You are simply enduring it without noticing. Only after your back and spine are massaged and your body and mind begin to relax do you feel truly comfortable. This comfort arises because your muscles may already be tired, or the energy flow in your back may have become blocked. Through massage, this discomfort is relieved, and that relief is experienced as happiness. If you gave the same back massage to a healthy five- or six-year-old child, the child might not feel pleasure at all. He or she might even feel discomfort. Why do adults begin to feel happy from massage at a certain age? It is because the suffering of aging has already begun. We are gradually getting older. However, this suffering may not be very severe. It may not be serious enough to stop us from living or working, so we can still bear it. We often work while carrying illness, discomfort, or inner hardship. Even when the body feels uncomfortable, we continue to persist. This does not mean we have no suffering. It simply means that the suffering is not yet severe enough to make us collapse. If it reached that point, it would be too painful. This is a very interesting formula for understanding how the mind works. We can apply it to ourselves and carefully observe the true nature of happiness. Only when we truly understand the nature of suffering and happiness can we find genuine peace and ease.