Trying too hard indicates that you haven’t got the feeling of meditation yet. Advanced meditators are generally found to be pretty jovial men and women. They possess that most valuable of all human treasures, a sense of humor. It is not the superficial witty repartee of the talk show host. It is a real sense of humor.
They can laugh at their own human failures. They can chuckle at personal disasters. They laugh at themselves. Beginners in meditation are often much too serious for their own good. So laugh a little. It is important to learn to loosen up in your session, to relax into your meditation. You need to learn to flow with whatever happens. As said here, we need to objectively observe whatever happens, including our body and mind. You can’t do that if you are tensed and striving, taking it all so very, very seriously. Also, we should treat our meditation with a sense of humor. As I mentioned before: “Meditate without thinking that you are meditating.” During meditation, don’t cling to the act of meditating, and don’t pretend to be a seasoned practitioner. As practitioners, our first step is to get rid of hypocrisy. The term “道貌岸然” (dào mào àn rán) originally had a positive meaning, suggesting that someone looks like an accomplished practitioner. However, nowadays it has become a sarcastic term, implying hypocrisy. As practitioners, don’t pretend to be accomplished. If you do so, it indicates that you are pretending or feeling nervous. Some people, when meditating, expect extraordinary results, which leads them to become very strict and serious, and treat others in a similar way. They are too strict. Especially after they have gained some recognition and disciples, their disciples become emotional punching bags. That’s why many disciples feel uncomfortable, as if they are being treated like lowly daughters-in-law. At that time, their teacher is not blessing them, but rather venting their own conflicted emotions. However, if the disciple can take this emotional outburst as a form of blessing, it’s good, but that’s very hard. In any case, that is the result of their own karma. When you are trying too hard, your effort becomes mechanical and that defeats mindfulness before it even gets started. Mindfulness won’t arise from tension. If you are not completely relaxed, how can you be mindful? Enjoy your meditation and don’t load yourself down with sweat and struggles. Meditation is an enjoyment. Sit down, relax your body and mind, then bring up your mindfulness. Take your time to meditate and deal with your attachments and ignorance. Drop your expectations and tension.